Why I do it....

Ever since I gave birth to Madelynn, I have been bombarded with the questions, "How do you do it? How do you go to school and have a kid?" or "Why do you do it? I'd rather stay home with my child." I'm pretty sure I've heard every variation of these two questions. And most of the time my response is "I don't know." or "I just need to." I would tell them my real reasoning for spending time away from my daughter, handing her off to my sister or Ray while I go to class or study groups, or having to choose studying over playing with her. But in a way its a personal and long explanation.

At first I didn't want to continue my education. I was fine with getting my associates and being done; especially since I was pregnant. But when Mady came, my whole perspective changed. Holding this newly child of God, sent from His presence brought upon me a protectiveness and motherly instinct that was so overwhelming. I thought back on my life and the mistakes I had made and the hell I put my parents through while in my "wild" days. I thought about everything Satan is doing to lead astray the younger generation. I thought of how easy it will be for my children to stumble of the Lord's path. And I was scared. It might have been my left over pregnancy hormones, but there was a time just after Mady was born, that I would just cry and cry. I felt so inadequate. I felt as though I shouldn't have been chosen with such a big responsibility. I felt sick that my child that the Lord had entrusted to me would have to grow up in such a wicked world. And that it was upon my shoulders to teach her the Gospel and hope that she will be obedient to the teachings of the Gospel. It was then that I decided that I would do all in my power to make sure that my children would be shielded from the onslaught of the world. That they would be able to stand against Satan and not be tempted. That they will be beacon's of light to others and stand as witness of God.

The reason I chose accounting as my major is because it is a job I can do at home. Whether its doing taxes, consulting, or book keeping, if I work hard enough I will be able to do all my work from home. I know I may sound cliche when I say that I want a big house with all the nice accessories and a lot of money. But my reasoning's may be different than others. The reason I want a big house is so that when my kids want to play with their friends and have parties, they will choose my house to do it at because it has all the nice things that kids want. I want to know who my children are hanging out with, who they like, what their doing. I want to be able to check on them and make sure nothing is going on that shouldn't. I want a lot of money so that my kids won't have to choose which musical talent they want to do, or which sport they must play, or which elective class to take. I want them to be able to develop all their talents. Growing up my siblings and I had to choose if it was going to be dance or sports, violin or piano, AP classes or yearbook class.

I'm not trying to say that I want to spoil my kids rotten. Oh no, their going to get jobs and work for the things they want. But I want to make sure they develop all the talents and always reach their goals. I want to know their friends and help throw their parties. And if that means getting my bachelors and two master's degrees in accounting and business, and having both Ray and I work then so be it.

It is my goal to work from home and to help supplement our income to provide for our children. There are days where I just want to give up and quit, but I am constantly reminded by all the awful things I hear that are happening in the world, and I am especially reminded every time I look at my sweet little girl. I will sacrifice a few years in order to help keep my children safe from the onslaught of the world. That is why I am going to school.

Late Anniversary

Ray and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary this past month. It's crazy to think it's only been 2 years - I feel like I've known him all my life and I can't imagine my life without him. I am so so very grateful for everything he has done for me. And for following the Lord's promptings through everything that was going on while we were dating, we would have not ended up together if he hadn't.I also wonder what would've happened if I never asked him on that first date......nah he'd probably would have found the guts to ask me....I hope.Even though we had many struggles to overcome during the first of our marriage, the Lord knew we would make it. There was no denying that we were meant to be together; although there were many times I would ask the Lord to reconsider - I always felt like I didn't deserve such an amazing man. I still think that.Because Ray worked on our anniversary, we decided to celebrate early. And being tight on money meant we'd have to be creative. I ran out of ideas quick and decided to call my mom. She told me to ask my relatives Pam and Winn to see if we could spend a couple of days there. Pam loves to host anyone and everyone, she always wanted my family to come up and stay with them. I thought of how perfect it would be - they have a HUGE house complete with a hot tub and an amazing view over the Salt Lake Valley. We could also see the lights at Temple Square, go do a session at the Salt Lake Temple for the first time, and whatever else catches our fancy. We had decided to invite our friends as well since it was their anniversary too. But they weren't able to come. So we invited the next people we thought would need it the most - Anna and Russell. Ray and I went up a day early to have sometime to ourselves before Anna and Russell came. We had a great time going out to eat, doing a session at the Temple, hot tubbing, a movie. It was so relaxing.

The next day, Anna and Russell came. We decided to just to dinner and then the lights because it was so late. Dinner was really good. We went to this pizza restaurant at the Gateway. Ahhh so good! Then we walked the couple of blocks to Temple Square to look at the lights. Temple Square was amazing! It wasn't too cold either. It was fun to take pictures of us with the lights. We had a great time with Anna and Russell and we're so glad they were able to come and spend a nice evening away from the kids. We are also very grateful to Pam and Winn for letting us come to the gorgeous home and stay a few nights. Thank you so much! We love you!Our last stop before heading home was to visit the Hansen Planetarium...or I think that's what its still called. All the shows cost money now so we just had fun looking at their exhibits and playing around with their gift shop. Definitely a Hufflepuff. I love the fact that we both are weirdos.And of course can't forget the amazing presents! Thanks to my brother Justin, I was able to get Ray an xbox 360. Thank you so much Justin! Ray got me a little something too. Thanks lover!We also got each other a little something else....ok a big something else. We were in dire need of a car and my uncle gave us a great deal on this Honda Accord. We love it. Thanks Greg!
Ray thank you for an amazing two years. I look forward to the life ahead and all of its trials and joys. I wouldn't want anyone else to spend it with. You are such an amazing husband and father. I thank God everyday for sending me a miracle. You helped me become who I am today and you always help me better myself. Thank you for being you. I love you so much!

Happy Holidays!

It has been such a fun and relaxing break. I'm quite sad to think I only have a week left before school starts again. This post will possibly be picture overload but there were so many good pictures, and since this will be made into a book someday, I really don't care.

Our break didn't really start until Christmas Eve because Ray wasn't able to get off work until then. I really wanted to see my family, but I have a little separation problem and would have miss Ray too much to leave without him. So Mady and I stayed at home doing miscellaneous things to keep ourselves occupied while the hubby worked. FINALLY, on Christmas Eve we drove up to my family's house in snowed out Ephraim. It got 2ft of snow! If not more. And look what happened to my Aunt's house who lives next door. Anyways, in order to celebrate Christmas with both of our families, we have devised a plan that works out pretty well. Since my family does most of their activities and celebrating on Christmas Eve we spend the day and the night with them. And because my family still has little kids that wake up at 3 in the morning, we spend Christmas morning with them as well. All the present opening and stocking gifts are done at approximately 7-8 in the morning, which gives us just enough time to pack the car with the goods and dash up to Lindon just as everyone is waking up to open presents with them. I hope to keep this tradition until we have enough kids to start doing Christmas at our house.

This year was such a special year for me. I was reminded of the feeling that should be felt around Christmas time and feeling the spirit of our Savior as we celebrate His birth. In the past, I always hated how long our traditions took and how every year was always the same. I never sat back and saw how much my Mom did to help us remember the true meaning of Christmas and how special our traditions really are. I am so thankful to her for all that she does during the holiday season to remind us of our Lord's birth.

Our evening starts out with a Christmas feast. Apparently we always have had turkey and mashed potatoes for our dinner, I always thought we had ham. (For my family, we will have ham) After our feast, we clean up for the talent show. Each one of us performs a talent of our choice to share with each other. We started with the youngest, which were Tiffany and Breanne singing "I'm getting nothing for Christmas"Michael (trumpet) and Aaron (clarinet) were next playing "Carol of the Bells". Ray and Nathan followed playing "Silent Night".They then accompanied my sister, Kimberly, and I singing "O Holy Night". I then made Ray and Kimberly sing with me one of my favorite Christmas songs, "Breath of Heaven". Which we butchered because Ray didn't want to sing a "girl's song" - which was a completely reasonable excuse for messing up the lyrics. He made us laugh pretty hard and in the end we just gave up and didn't finish. Kimberly and Nathan saved the show by singing that one song off of the Polar Express movie. They did a really good job - even though Nate sang off tune some of the time. HahaThis year we had a very cute Swedish couple join us; they were going to school at Snow College and had no family to celebrate with. Their names were Pierre and Gabriella. Pierre was majoring in music and for his talent he shared with us a song of his own making.
To complete the talent show, my mom, my aunt Annette and my uncle Jerry sang "Walking in a Winter Wonderland".

After the talent show, everyone gathers around for my mom to read our newest Christmas book. Each year we get a book and read one each day until Christmas. After reading, everyone scrambles to get into their costumes to act out the Nativity scene. Everyone who wants to can participate (we don't necessarily have just 3 wise men and a couple shepherds. And don't forget the donkey, the inn keepers, King Herod...ok maybe not that far but you get the idea). This year, we had our 3 wise men - Justin, Aaron, Michael.Our Angel - TiffanyOur two baby Jesus - Breanne and Mady (who preferred not to be dressed up)We had our Mary and Joseph - Nathan and KimberlyAnd our Shepherds - Ray and IOverall - I thought this year was a good one. And look at how good we look.I mean it beats being a donkey....right?After the Nativity, we celebrate Jesus's birthday. We each blow out a candle on His cake and then give Him our gift for the year. Each of us have an envelope of the gifts we have given Him through the years so that we know if we truly have given them to Him or not - kind of like a new years resolution. These are mine that I have kept through out the years. I think this is my favorite tradition, because we reflect on the true meaning of Christmas and what we can do for our Savior. Once all of that is done, we get to open one present - usually pjs. But now that my Grandma is past, we open presents from my Aunt Annette and my Uncle JerrySo everyone grabbed their gift and a seat on the couch and one by one each of us opened our gifts. Even Mady helped.Because me and Ray got a nice big TV for our Christmas to each other, we decided to give the Sweden couple our old one. Annette gave them some movies and a DVD player to go along with it. My mom had been to their apartment earlier that week and saw that they had hardly anything, since they couldn't take much on the airplane from Sweden. They were very surprised that they even had a gift, a very large gift. When they opened their presents, I wanted to cry. Their reaction was one out of gratitude and love. I wish I could have caught it on video, they were so happy. Gabriella started screaming for joy and was shaking her husband, who sat dumbfounded at such a large gift. The feeling the overcame me was such a wonderful feeling - knowing that I had done something that seemed so simple such as getting rid of a small, heavy, old TV, could have had this impact on me - making this couple feel so loved in a foreign country, away from family. We later found out that what they did for "fun" was to walk to Walmart and back. Which is about a 1/2 mile walk from their apt. They didn't have a car. They didn't have much money to spend on anything. They were so happy to receive a TV of their own. They couldn't wait to go home. I loved being reminded of the giving and not the receiving.We only stayed up a little bit later talking, cleaning, and watching some show. Can I just say how grateful I am that my Aunt Annette lives next door? Otherwise, Ray, Mady, and I would be waking up at 3 in the morning by the other kids. At a quarter to six, Ray and I woke Mady up and went over to our house through the basement door. We are not allowed upstairs until 6:00 to see what Santa got us. Our stockings are laid out down there though. So we were able to see what we got, which was mostly candy. Mady got some good stuff though.
Almost 6 and everyone is here!When 6:00 arrives, everyone gathers around the door to upstairs, waiting for Mom and Dad to come open it. My siblings usually pound on the door so my parents are sure to hear it. To make sure everyone is there. My parents have each of us answer here. As soon as the door opens, everyone runs upstairs to see what Santa brought them. This year, Santa came early for me and Ray. Ray got a nice computer chairAnd I got a dining table!So since Santa already came to us, he decided that we just needed a little something to open up on Christmas day. So we got a first aid kit (which we have been desperately in need of - we don't even have band aids!) Mady got a cute little piano.This is us with our stockings and Santa presents. Sorry for the bad picture, our camera ran out of batteries and so we had to use my phone. Someday we'll get a nice camera that doesn't use up the batteries when its off or after two pictures.This is everyone seeing what they got from Santa. Kimberly, Aaron, and Michael got mp3 players. Nathan got his netbook.Justin got a really nice shotgun, which Ray was jealous of. Someday honey....Tiffany and Breanne got things for their dollsAnd Jerry surprised my parents with a TV.As soon as Santa is looked at and opened, all the kids race downstairs to open the other presents from the family. Then when that is all said and done, Ray and I hurry and pack up our Christmas and head to the Martel's house. This year we did pretty good and got there by 9:00. Boy, was Mady ornery with the lack of sleep. It was such a relief to go from screaming, yelling Wayman house, to the quite, open space, Martel house. This is their Christmas Tree that they get from their backyard every year. Not bad for a home grown tree.Mady was basking in all the attention she was receiving from the Martel's. Especially Grandma.We received many great gifts this year. Including a camcorderA mp3 player - I love how its pinkWe also received from the parents a bucket of legos to start our own collection (the Martel's are obsessed with legos. Its their favorite toy. I'll show you a HUGE lego tower...but that's another post).Along with many other miscellaneous gifts, we also received a highchair! Its not this one but one that looks like it.
We spent quite a few days with the Martel's. It was so relaxing. Even Mady thought so.While there, Ray played with Legos, and I did puzzles. And Mady played with Thuncle Ethan (cutest picture ever)Naketa, Mom, and I finished a total of 7 puzzles. Ranging from 500 to 1500 pieces. It was such a wonderful Christmas. Thank you for all the presents family! We love you!